Gossip might be healthy, even when it is about you

There is one undisputed similarity between men and women, they are all terrible gossips. The big difference, however, is that while women are seen to maintain the original meaning of “gossiping”, men call it “discussing”. A thin line, if there is any at all. No need to feel bad about being a gossip, it is good for you.

Honest.

Non-malicious gossip is just a way of passing information about somebody, a way to compare people’s achievements and failures, seeking opinions about what other people are doing so that you can pick, choose, or discard, depending on what you hear.

When a friend talks about a mutual friend who is cheating on their spouse, on the surface of it, it is gossip. However, if you delve deeper, it is deliberating about the friend’s bad behaviour and what to do about the sad situation.

Think about it; if people did not gossip about others, there would be little else to discuss after the weather, the traffic, and the tiring politics are exhausted. Gossip is the saving grace of awkward moments. Two people who have nothing to say to each other will find themselves overwhelmed with words if one of them introduces some juicy information about somebody else. In other words, gossip is perfect way to bond.

Gossiping, researchers say, helps lower stress levels — I suspect it is in line with the human nature. People generally feel better about their own bad situation if they imagine somebody somewhere going through something worse. Gossip is free therapy.

“Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true”, goes the definition of gossip.

At a glance, not too bad, which makes one wonder why it gets such bad PR. We use gossip to pass on information — that the information might be untrue should not make us feel too bad; after all, most untruths are based on some level of truth, and humans with their creative and melodramatic flair like to edit and lace information. Bottom line: whatever is being said about someone may have some sort of truth in it, and it is our duty to take it with a pinch of salt.

Our reaction to gossip separates the strong from the weak, but it is easier said than done, especially if you happen to be the subject of malicious gossip. To accept that there is nothing much one can do is in itself a sign of strength and regained self-pride.

Gossips are here to stay, they are born as often as they die, never in short supply, you get rid of one and another stronger strain crops up — gossips are like malaria. When we understand that humans, whatever their social and economic status is, are starved of self-esteem and the only way to have any is to imagine that others are having it worse, we will be on our way to a happier life.

On a slightly different point, humiliation of others is also choice sport for humans. When a woman in a short skirt and six inch heels stumbles and falls, exposing her underwear and, for good measure, breaking her heel, by instinct, people will cringe, but they will giggle and laugh more than they will cringe.

They will think “serves her right for dressing like that”. Watch, especially, the reaction of women who would not look quarter as good dressed like her — pure pleasure; their way of having one over the woman who thought (rightfully so, in her opinion) that she was the hottest of them.

Here are a few points to remember when you are the subject of gossip and humiliation;

1.  Most people will always take some sort of pleasure in a downfall; do not take it personal — it is human nature.

2.  If you are the subject of gossip, take pleasure in knowing that you are doing something of note to tick people’s interest.

3.  Ignore the gossips. Let them stew in their own juices, wondering whether you know they are talking about you.

4.  If people seem to take pleasure in your misfortunes, relax in the knowledge that their day will come.

5. When you make major decisions about your life, do not worry about others being happy about it . Whatever you do, somebody somewhere will be unhappy about your decision. Focus on making YOU happy.