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Model Rayna Terror teamed up with Riot TV to go see a specialist to, uh, as she delicately puts it, "get my brown star turned into a bronzed ornament." You might be asking yourself why anyone would want a bronze mold of their anus, considering that's normally something you reserve for, say, baby shoes. "I like trying to experience new things even if they're weird things," says Terror. "I don't want to get older and regret not getting my butt bronzed." Better safe than sorry.
The bronzers are a man named Magnus Irvin (or as Terror calls him, her "bum chum") and Michael Ritzema. They initially started a company called Edible Anus that sells chocolates shaped like butt holes. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but when they pop up in the video, they look exactly like the kind of guys that would run a company called Edible Anus. I think that's a compliment, maybe. They've since expanded from chocolate anuses to, as Irvin puts it, "more permanent anuses" made of metal or glass.
Irvin steals the show, sharing a story that I'm sure is a hit at dinner parties: "The first time I ever tried to do a cast of an anus, I tried to do my own. I had to wait until my missus had gone out and my son had gone to school. I went in the kitchen and I mixed up the alginate and I poured it into my bum. Well, I took my trousers off and put my knees on either side of me. I poured this stuff into my bum and it all ran past my nuts and into my face…. You can't get it out of your pubic hair. It sets."
And when asked what his dream anus to cast would be, Irvin says it'd be famous astronomer Patrick Moore. "But he's dead, isn't he?" Irvin realizes. "Perhaps Patrick Moore's dead anus. That would be my dream anus. The anus of a fat corpse like Patrick Moore… Make it into something luminous and you could put them on the ceiling."
This is a man who is not only unafraid to answer a question about dream anuses, but he's a man who has an incredibly specific idea regarding his "dream anus."
Oh, also, Terror got her bronzed anus and it looks great, I guess.
Irvin steals the show, sharing a story that I'm sure is a hit at dinner parties: "The first time I ever tried to do a cast of an anus, I tried to do my own. I had to wait until my missus had gone out and my son had gone to school. I went in the kitchen and I mixed up the alginate and I poured it into my bum. Well, I took my trousers off and put my knees on either side of me. I poured this stuff into my bum and it all ran past my nuts and into my face…. You can't get it out of your pubic hair. It sets."
And when asked what his dream anus to cast would be, Irvin says it'd be famous astronomer Patrick Moore. "But he's dead, isn't he?" Irvin realizes. "Perhaps Patrick Moore's dead anus. That would be my dream anus. The anus of a fat corpse like Patrick Moore… Make it into something luminous and you could put them on the ceiling."
This is a man who is not only unafraid to answer a question about dream anuses, but he's a man who has an incredibly specific idea regarding his "dream anus."
Oh, also, Terror got her bronzed anus and it looks great, I guess.
But a man named Magnus talking about dream anuses in a British accent... That's going to haunt me forever.
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